


these hands could hold the world

by asdfghjkalice



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, bram is the purest little boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asdfghjkalice/pseuds/asdfghjkalice
Summary: ... but it'll never be enough for meAbraham Greenfeld, 17, Soccer star, Gay and helplessly pining after a boy who doesn’t like him back.





	these hands could hold the world

**Author's Note:**

> this damn book has me writing fanfiction again so I hope Becky Albertalli is proud of herself!   
> (also big shout out to the greatest showman for the fic title)

This first week back at school after Christmas had been different to say the least. Simon somehow got outed to the whole school and now everything is weird. Since he had begun emailing Jacques, he had always wanted it to be Simon who was on the other side, it had been Simon who had inspired his Tumblr post in the first place, Simon who he’d been low key crushing on since the first time he’d said hello to him at lunch, Bram both cherished and cursed the day that Nick had suggested that he and Garret should join his lunch table because it had led him straight to Simon and now he found himself in this current predicament.

He stared at his MacBook screen, the words written there burning in his brain. Cal Price, Simon thought he was Cal Price, this whole time while he had been here falling in love with Jacques, or Simon, because deep down he had always known that it was Simon, Simon had been falling in love with FREAKING CAL PRICE. He didn’t blame him though, he always looked not quite put together and his skin was constantly rough and scarred from soccer while Cal looked like a god damn Disney prince, hell if Bram wasn’t so fixated on Simon he would have been in love with him too.

_***_

At soccer training the next day, Bram was distracted, it’s a good thing that soccer try-outs had already taken place otherwise he’d have no shot at even making the team yet alone be the star player.

“Greenfeld!” the coach yells at him from across the pitch, “What the hell is going on, Get your head in the game!”

“Sorry!” Bram yelled back, “I’m a little distracted”

“Take five Greenfeld, you’re better than this!”

Bram jogged over the bleachers and sank down into the front bench, his face coming to rest in is hands. Bram tried desperately to shake Simon from his head, he couldn’t afford this type of distraction now, not with the first match of the season coming up so soon. He looks up when he hears someone coming towards him. It’s Garrett.

“Bro, what’s up?” he says as he approaches him, “you’re totally lost out there”

“I’m sorry” Bram snuffles.

“Wow, you’re really not okay are you!”

Bram doesn’t say anything, he just looks up at Garrett with his wide brown eyes totally unsure of what’s going to happen next. “Can we talk?” Bram asks softly, finally breaking the silence. “After practice I mean”.

“Sure” Garrett says reassuringly, “Coach just sent me over to see if you’re up for coming back on, you coming?”

Bram shakes his head gently, “I’m going to hit the showers, I’ll meet you afterwards” Garrett nods and jogs back onto the pitch. Once he’s gone Bram picks himself up and makes his way to the locker room. He strips off and steps into the shower, the hot water burning against his cold, dark skin. He thinks about Simon and how he’s probably off at rehearsals for Oliver, flirting with Cal and having a great time while he’s stuck here, sweaty and alone in a locker room when he should be out there playing soccer and scoring goals but really, he’d rather be with Simon, some place quiet and secluded and kissing him, well maybe more than kissing. A few tears fall out of Bram’s eyes and mix with the water cascading on top of him. At least Simon was happy.

_***_

Bram waited for Garrett outside the school, He was driving so he went and sat in the car. Before Garrett arrived, the whole parking lot erupted in sudden noise as the whole drama club made their way out of school and Bram caught a glimpse of Simon, smiling next to his friends, smiling next to Cal Price. This was all the proof that Bram needed, he made a mental not to write ‘Jacques’ an email as soon as he got home.

A few minutes later, he saw Garrett and the rest of the team leaving and adjusted himself in the car. “Hey bro,” Garrett said as he sidled up to Bram’s car and slid into the passenger’s seat. “Where are we headed to the? The WaHo?”

Bram shook his head, “Too public, how about that new café that opened a few weeks ago, the one near your house?”

“Shit” Garrett exclaimed “This is serious”. Bram stayed quiet, “Your call bro, you’re driving”. Bram nodded and started the engine and they drove in silence. Garrett knew better than to talk, Bram liked that about him.

They got to the café, which was very hip and trendy, and Bram felt very out of place. He ordered a cappuccino and Garrett ordered a macchiato. Bram didn’t really like coffee all that much, but any place was better than the WaHo right now.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s up?” Garrett suggests, “Or have you just dragged me all the way to tis hipster dump to continue to mope in silence?”

Bram sighed, he knew that this was the only chance he had to do this properly, it’s now or never. “I’m gay.”

“And you’re in love with Spier” Garrett said smiling in response, “tell me something I don’t know already”

“Wait,” Bram said, his eyes wide with shock. “You know?”

“Abraham Greenfeld, the second that Simon Spier walks into a room you become this whole different person, like you get super shy and you haven’t stopped staring at him since he got outed, I’d either have to be blind or a closed-minded bigoted idiot not to see that.

Bram blinked and stared for a second in awe and then threw his arms around his best friend. Bram had always longed for his friends to accept him for who he was and now that he knew that they always had it felt like a giant weight had just been lifted off his shoulders.

“Wait,” Garrett said suddenly breaking the embrace, “so you were really worried about telling me this?”

Bram nodded. “Well it’s not just that but…” he trailed off, Bram had everything, he was on the soccer team, he had top grades, supportive parents and most importantly supportive friends, but there was one thing he didn’t have, that he couldn’t have, Simon.

“But what”

“Simon doesn’t love me back” Bram sighed.

“Well we had better make him love you” Garrett said with a giant grin on his face.

“No, you don’t understand” Bram replied, his heart heavy “It’s not that easy”

“Try me”

_***_

Weeks had passed since Bram had given Simon that Toby Elliott shirt with his number inside and still Simon hadn’t called him, or texted him, or even worn the shirt. He felt defeated like nothing he could do was ever going to be enough for Simon to feel the same way about him as he did. He even tortured himself by going to see Simon’s play every time it ran and dragged Garrett with him, much to his rejection and tonight was the last show. The cast and crew were all going to a carnival, but Bram didn’t feel like being anywhere near Simon, especially when a certain Cal Price would also be there, with Simon, in pretty close proximity. So, this led to Bram and Garrett going home early.

“You sure you’re okay bro” Garrett asked.

“I’m fine” Bram replied, but he really wasn’t fine.

“Hey Spier doesn’t know what he’s missing” Garrett replied, shooting Bram a sympathetic smile but there was something about Garrett’s word that reminded Bram about something, something very important.

“Can I borrow your computer?” Bram asked excitedly, before rushing over to Garrett’s laptop without awaiting a response. He logged into his Blue email and saw he had a new email from Simon. He’s at the fair, and he’s waiting for him. “I have to go!” Bram exclaimed as he logs out of his email, pulls on his shoes and runs out of the door, without so much as a goodbye to Garrett.

The next 20 minutes are a blur, he made his way as quickly as possible to the fair, praying to whatever God would listen that he would get there in time. He hurriedly rushed his way around every attraction, looking everywhere for Simon, he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. He finally spotted Simon getting on the Tilt-A-Whirl, anything but the Tilt-A-Whirl, but anything for Simon. Bram ran. He sat down beside Simon. He couldn’t even remember what he said and suddenly the whole world was spinning round and round and round and round, but Bram was just staring deep into Simon’s eyes and everything was calm.

_***_

We talked, I finally talked to Simon about the Simon thing, and he smiled, maybe he really did like me all along, maybe he didn’t, but all I know now is that he’s looking at me and he’s smiling and suddenly he’s leaning towards me and all I want to do is kiss him, but I make do with just sitting here and holding his hand. Tightly, promising never to let go. The lights all around us are flickering off and it’s dark but there’s light pulsating through our fingertips and it’s reflected in his eyes, even in the midst of the blackness and emptiness of the now abandoned funfair, we are the sun.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in years so I hope this wasn't too shoddy a job! Abraham Greenfeld is my smallest son and I will protect him at all costs.


End file.
